Monday, 28 November 2011

Auto Pilot

Yesterday marked a new start for Christians as a new year began. To mark the occasion, as many are aware, the new translation of the Roman Missal was used. In our parish, the new translation only started yesterday unlike some parishes in the world where they might have started using it before Advent. Nearly everyone who attended mass yesterday was a little lost because of the unfamiliarity with the new words. While some buried their faces in the missalletes and other said the words of the old translation. It wasn't the best/ideal worship for this week. But that got me thinking, those who were saying the old words despite knowing that the translation is new and that all the words were in the new missallete were just saying it for the sake of saying it. I myself had some instances where that happened. One example was "The Lord be with you" the previous response was, "And also with you". The new one as we all know is, "And with your spirit". It has become more like an automatic response without thinking to what we hear from the priest. Saying it without thought. I made this mistake a few times. This doesn't just apply to the new words but the creed we use to use, or the 'Our Father' prayer. Some of us say these prayers and words without thinking about the meaning behind it. It becomes a recital instead of prayers. Its probably not going to be easy getting in tuned to the new translation and may take a couple of weeks but I don't intend on making the same mistakes this time, hopefully. Auto Pilot. 

Monday, 7 November 2011

The Mystery.

If you attempted to evangelize an atheist and tried to explain the existence of God, how would you do it? What would you tell him to try to get him to even consider the existence of God? Its much easier to talk to someone who already has a background in some form of religion compared to an atheist. The thought crossed my mind when I was having a discussion with someone in church and I did some reading and research. 


Looking in the bible, in Romans 1:20, St. Paul asserts that belief in God is not unreasonable and that humans can rationally discover the hidden God because; "ever since the creation of the world, the invisible existence of God and his everlasting power have been clearly seen by the mind's understanding of created things" This MAY sound rather philosophical and distant to some people, so let's look at an example. A wealthy man who has much much more money than he needs to sustain himself and his family, lives in a ginormous mansion, owns luxurious car. The typical Richie Rich family.  They may be physically very very satisfied and happy with their lives but are they really truly happy from within? Sometimes we hear that, sometimes wealthy people don't feel satisfied with their lives for some reason. Probably the spiritual aspect of their life. This obviously isn't just limited to wealthy people but we commonly hear it from that particular group of people. We have an unquenchable thirst for happiness which nothing earthly can completely satisfy. God made us that way, implanted in us a homing device so that we'd find in him the happiness which we cannot find in earthly things. For him to fill up that empty box we carry with us that nothing can fill up. 




Another thing to think about is the sense of justice. Most/many of us have a fundamental feeling of justice that good will triumph over evil in someway, somehow, someday if not in this life, perhaps in the next. In those blockbuster movies, on many occasions, we assume or believe that the hero will eventually get rid of the villain. Why? And one more thing, Love. Love is a spiritual 'thing' where it cannot be really explained nor defined by materiality. It has to come from somewhere, ultimately from love itself, whom we call God. The water in the river has to come from a source which is water too. 


A great medieval theologian, St. Thomas Aquinas made a very logical conclusion to the existence of God. He has five 'proofs' and one of them was that all creatures had to come from a cause which itself was not caused. And this "Uncaused Cause" is God. Was the Big Bang really the start of everything? What about the cause of the Big Bang? The cause of the cause of the Big Bang had to have a cause or some reason that it happened, so what happened or what caused it which wasn't a cause itself? 


There have been so many theologians and other people who have tried to prove the existence of God but it also ultimately comes down to Faith too and thats what usually is missing from an atheist person. I believe it is a gift from The Lord our God which cannot be earned or created. I feel like I have indeed received that gift since my background wasn't the most religious background but I was still called to Christ. My mentor taught me about faith with a very interesting parable. There's a glass of water-like see-through liquid which is labelled as poison, but I tell you that it isn't poison and you drink it out of faith. Something to ponder on. What is faith to you? 


Are you completely happy now? Maybe you're missing something, or maybe there's something you can do to satisfy that restlessness to attain peace and happiness. 



How full is your life glass? What can you do to fill it up? 



Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Conversion. (Final)

Things from there on was as good as it could get. I was finally having the community life I craved so much for. I was finally becoming more active in church and getting to know more people and coming out of my introverted shell. The verses in the bible about community worship were coming alive in me. In the entire week, I came to look forward to choir practice, altar serving (honestly, before everything, I thought it was easy and nothing significant to it, how wrong I was..) and most of all mass. I was craving for baptism and to finally be able to all myself a brother of Christ. I tried my best to keep my lenten 'obligations'. It was hard, but I also thought this was nothing and I was complaining for no valid reason compared to what Christ endured, and did for us all. 


We sung during Holy Week and on Good Friday. It was the best experience I had. I felt so good singing praises and with the choir and in LATIN too! It was just 1 day before Easter Vigil and I was looking even more forward to the next day. There was 1 person in my class who didn't make it but the rest of us made it, and the number was much greater than the initial number we had. From old to young, we all had various reasons coming together like this. 


The Easter Vigil this year was very very much different. Every year, I would sit in the gallery above alone but this year, FRONT ROW SEATS and the big night for all of us who were called. The mass went on until our baptism. I was nervous, overwhelmed with joy, and hopeful of the future I had as a part of the church, and with the whole community. When it was my turn, I had millions of thoughts running through my head, anticipation, anxiety to a certain extent. The moment of baptism was a very VERY emotional moment. To non-christians, its just pouring water over the guy's forehead. I'm privileged to have experienced it consciously. Most/ many Catholics were baptized as infants. At that moment, all the thoughts, the anxiety, anticipation I had flew out the window and I felt peaceful and calm as never felt before. Some readers might think I'm going over the top but it really was an unforgettable experience and one which I'd love to have again.I felt different after that. Like a different person. It could have been psychological at that point, but it might not have been 'psychological'. 


Things have changed so much ever since that day and my life perspective has changed so much. Going to church every Sundays aren't enough sometimes. Which is why I use to go for a number of weekday masses too in Penang. I am/was in dire need of spiritual food and really hope that other people would be able to have the same great experience I had in their own way. Life looks more hopeful and I have something to hold to in my times of distress now. I don't feel as isolated and as alone as I use to feel. A whole new perspective of life. 


I'm really grateful to those who supported me through my journey and those who still continue to be there and guide me deeper into the faith. I secretly wish that these posts, might help someone find their way to Jesus Christ our Lord too. (not so subtle and secret apparently.. =p)