There aren't exactly many people reading this but I guess I'm posting this up to recap what happened to me in the last year and a few months. About a year and a half ago, I was no more than a lost teenager with no real guide in life, living the days as it came by without thought about the 'bigger picture'. I was/am the nice guy who was always considered thoughtful, kind, never said 'no' to someone who needed help. Yes its true. In fact, I still can't say no to almost everyone. In short, self sacrificial. All this was good, I like helping people out and seeing smiles on their faces at the end of the day always made me happy and made me think my time, energy was worth it. But I had no purpose in life. Nothing to look up to in times of difficulty. Most people look to their parents for help. Of course. They should be the people who know you best and would support you whenever you need it. But I don't have that relationship with them, thus, it wasn't an option for me.
I grew up in a buddhist-ish background with my dad originally being buddhist. Whenever we visited temples like kek lok si and many other temples for prayer, I felt like a foreigner in a different country. I wasn't feeling as homey as my dad was or as cheery as my other siblings seem to be. Maybe this was already an indication of something to come in the up coming years. (1996-1997ish)
In the year 2000, my dad was baptized and converted to a Roman Catholic. The reason for his conversion is *********...******. (For protection of privacy, details have been removed). Now this, also felt foreign to me. I was 9 at the time. The nearest church to where we lived at the time was The Church of Immaculate Conception. I lived in Midlands Condo just a 5 minute walk away. I always knew there was a church nearby but never thought I'd have any kind of relation to it. Life went on and we went to church on big occasions like Easter, Christmas and occasionally on some saturday evenings. To be honest, I really didn't like it. Having to sit quietly in church for an hour while things happen which i had no clue what it was, was like having to sit in a classroom where the teacher speaks in some weird foreign language which you have no idea and it feels like a total waste of time. During Christmas, all i wanted to do was for the mass to finish and to go home to the presents under the tree. Childish. Yes I know that thankyouverymuch. What do you expect? I was 9, no one told me about anything that was going on, or even attempted to try to tell me anything so don't blame me for feeling like that.
End of part 1.
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